How to Bounce Back After A Severe Setback in Life.


During the quest to achieve life goals, many fear failure. The thought of failing and being humiliated by society has halted many in their journey to achieve success. But it is next to impossible to get through without an ounce of failure.

Even when we encounter failure, we detest it the most, but time and time, it is proven that those failures accumulate to give us the much-needed strength to excel in the journey.

We can be at peace and pick up our pace in this journey if we believe in one thing: Failures are an inevitable part of the Journey to excellence.

Loathing it or Learning from it is an option, that we are independent to choose.

Successful one chooses to learn from it and people who curse and blame others for their failures, fail to attain something wonderful in their life.

Failures will be there to act as a hurdle in the journey. We have to choose to jump over them or to mark that hurdle as the finish line. There will be failures along the way but those who decide to rise for one more time are known as champions.

The Setbacks will leave an impact on you & it is upto us what to do with it. The author of Harry Potter books, Joanne Rowling highlights that beautifully:

“Failure gave me an inner security that I had never attained by passing examinations. Failure taught me things about myself that I could have learned no other way. I discovered that I had a strong will and more discipline than I had suspected…”

The question still remains: But How to Bounce back from Failures?

We can define failure as something that is not working as well as it should or as per our expectations or standards. Failure is when we fail to achieve our desired goal.

So to things to work out as per our expectations or the set standards, we have to act again. That tendency of acting again after a setback or a failure is fueled by our motivation, our behavior, or our attitude.

Our behavior is guided by our mindset or our approach towards the goal. We are distinguished by the motivational mindset that propels us towards our goal. Psychologists have clearly highlighted the two aspects that motivate us to excel.

One is Approach oriented and the other is Avoidance oriented.

When you will understand the difference between the above two, you will definitely find a way to bounce back from failures.

Andrew J. Elliot highlights the difference between Approach and Avoidance Motivation. According to him: “They both differ as a function of valence: In Approach motivation, the behavior is instigated or directed by a positive/desirable event or possibility, whereas, in Avoidance motivation, the behavior is instigated or directed by a negative/undesirable event or possibility.”

To understand it, let us take a real-life event. Suppose you decide to run a 27 km marathon. Let us analyze the difference between Approach and Avoidance Motivation by keeping in mind that you are going to run a marathon.

Approach Oriented: You know what it takes to run 27 km and you know that it takes intense practice to run that much distance in one go. You prepare yourself for the intense pain that running will cause or even a hamstring injury along the way. You focus on positive or likable events happening and are your zeal is not undermined by failure. You know that there will be setbacks but you are prepared enough to overcome those setbacks along the way and never quit. You prepare yourself for bouncing back with extra effort, positive mindset, and fine-tuning yourselves whenever required rather than giving up along the way.

Avoidance Oriented: You see the finish line, the feeling of finishing first, and also see the failures along the way. You focus on negative or unlikable events more like losing the marathon due to fatigue or sometimes falling down due to hamstring injury. Your actions are focused more on avoiding pitfalls rather than finishing first in the marathon. If at any time during the marathon, you fail even after giving all of your 100% then it is more likely that you will quit after facing such failures that your action was trying to avoid.

This distinction clearly highlights that what motivates you defines how far you go. If you are in constant avoidance of failure, you will succeed to some extent but when you will encounter failure after giving all, you will be prone to give up easily.

On the other hand, when you prepare yourself to encounter such setbacks and know how to overcome them, you are more likely to endure and optimize until you make it.

Everyone will encounter failure along the way but not all will endure until they succeed.

Remember, when you know how to manage the negative emotions that accompany failure, you will learn to endure until you make it.

Analyze what went wrong last time by focusing on what you missed in the process. Search for the area that needs improvisation. If needed, revisit the plan and approach you took to achieve that goal.

Failure is there to make you strong. Ernest Hemingway highlights it beautifully:

The world breaks everyone, and afterward, some are strong at the broken places.

Continue the journey even after encountering failure.

Do not make this an excuse for failing or go looking out for failure, so that you can emerge out strong. No, this is not for that.

It is for the adaption of a positive mindset to avoid the negativity that accompanies failure. The majority of us succumb to this negativity and give up while others endure their way to success.

Learning to Read, Write, Design & Pray aptly. Author of Political Fiction POTUS#45 & few more. Inspiring myself with my words to excel. હસતા રહેજો!

Love podcasts or audiobooks? Learn on the go with our new app.

Recommended from Medium

Disney Star To Porn Star With Maitland Ward

9 Life Lessons I Learned from Richard Paul Evans

Forgiving Ourselves

How To Become Wealthy Using The Law of Attraction.

A love letter to my 15-yea

Three Things I wish I Understood Before Leaving my 9–5

5 Survival Tips for 2022

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store
HBR Patel

HBR Patel

Learning to Read, Write, Design & Pray aptly. Author of Political Fiction POTUS#45 & few more. Inspiring myself with my words to excel. હસતા રહેજો!

More from Medium

Are positive thinking, mind reconstruction and affirmations all bullshit?

A woman showing her back. On her back there is a sentence: ‘I nurish myself.’

Why are you demotivated?

Inspiration Versus Possibility

Self-care, Inner Peace and The Value Of Tears